Jolly old St. Nicotine

Another possible reason for Santa's unhealthy complexion in the 50's is his raging tobacco habit. And he's not content to ruin his own health; he has to drag all the good girls and boys down with him.

In the 50's, good children also traditionally received a fifth of Scotch in their stockings on Christmas morning.

Cardiac Santa

Here's the logical outcome of all the 50's candy-is-good-for-you ads: A candy-laden Santa who appears to be in the midst of pulmonary thrombosis. Ad Santas got ruddier and ruddier in this era, until they all looked like radiation burn victims.

Don't know what happened to the Fairhill line of Whitman's chocolates, but Wikipedia reports

Besides the Whitman's Sampler, Pickaninny Peppermints were also a popular Whitman confection. However, future Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall and, at the time, NAACP lawyer took issue with the name. In a 1941 article directed at Whitman's published in the Afro-American, Marshall urged Whitman's Candies to realize its racial insensitivity. Whitman's denied the term was racist and responded to Marshall by saying that it meant "cute colored kid." Still the product was soon dropped.

Good call, Whitman's.

Unfortunate metaphor #3,786,452

Sweet, sweet candy. Since you'll probably be getting some from somebody tomorrow (even if it's just the person at work who leaves a bowl of conversation hearts in the kitchen), this ad image seemed fitting. Sadly, it reminds me of a long-past Simpson's episode where a drunken Homer rails "So I said, blue M&M, red M&M--they all wind up the same color in the end."

But what a magical cornucopia! Into its crisp, beribboned maw go corn syrup, butter, eggs, and enough sugar to choke a diabetic horse. And out comes . . . well, the gumdrop looks lame, but man the commercial artists sure knew how to render candy in those days (December 1945--Life magazine, in fact). The little box at the top got cut off, but it reassures readers that they'll be able to get all the CANDY they want as soon as sugar isn't rationed anymore. (As always, click on the image for a larger version.)

I miss the lack of self-consciousness in ads like this; candy these days has to advertise itself much like liquor and tobacco, knowing full well it's bad for people. In pre-obesity America, you could still make the case that candy was good for you, full as it was of "food energy" (calories). Don't be ashamed, candy! There is nothing wrong with you!

As Amy Sedaris's brother told her, "When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it!' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy!"

Happy Valentine's Day.

Monday Linktacular!

There are oodles of 50s image galleries at Plan 59, which will be going up in the sidebar momentarily. You'll notice some familiar faces in their Gallery of Demonic Tots and Deeply Disturbing Cuisine. The images you see at that link are THUMBNAILS--click them for the FULL picture AND (yay, references!) the source. And in some cases a link to the recipe, for the stouthearted.