Diabetes in a bottle

OK, so, syrup, pancakes, butter. Nothing unusual here, really,

Except HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HOW MUCH SYRUP DO YOU NEED ON A PLATE OF PANCAKES?

Sure, I overindulge sometimes too. I like syrup. Who doesn't? Frankly, this ad is totally making me want pancakes right now.

But when the syrup actually submerges your pancakes entirely and threatens to overflow the plate, you need to cut back.

It's not like this is low-calorie syrup, either; they say right there in the ad it has "plenty of real maple sugar" in it.

That's a hell of a lot of butter too.

Happy Easter ads

Still stuck in April 1956, our Wayback Machine gives us a double glimpse of Easter past.

First, Dubble Bubble. Fleer's Dubble Bubble. Because "dubble" isn't funny enough. Frankly, if I could find this stuff today, I'd put it in my kids' baskets. But it doesn't come square anymore, at least not where I shop. And without the funnies, facts, and fortunes, it's just bubble gum.

I think you can still get Palooka Joe, which is square and has a cartoon, but it takes, as I recall, bitter and crumbly, and the cartoons are stupid, because who even knows what a palooka is these days?

Then there's the NEW Dromedary mix for Fruity-rich Easter Cake, which of course is just fruitcake, but you put frosting on it. "Make a few at a time," the ad advises. "They keep." Really? Well, wouldn't they keep just as well unmade, in the box? And then I could make one whenever I wanted it? Because all I have to add is eggs and water?

Wait, I forgot, I don't even like fruitcake.

I guess G.I. Joe there in the corner is supposed to remind us that ANYTHING tastes good after six months freezing your ass off in Korea. Even fruit cake that came from a box and was baked in the pan that came in the box, and then sat in the pan for four or five weeks while the Army shipped it halfway around the world.

What ever happened to Dromedary? I thought they were still around, but the Internets were leading me to think they had been purchased by Dole. Not so; it turns out Dromedary is still an active brand name used by California Redi-Date, which also packages dates for Dole. But you can't buy Dromedary mixes anymore, alas.

I had to read a contract packer trade journal article on servo technology to find that out, when I should be dying eggs.

Happy Easter!

UPDATE: Oh, right, it's Bazooka Joe. People probably still know what a bazooka is (if anyone knows the names of obsolete WWII-era weaponry, it's our nation's ten-year-old boys). I was starting to get queasy about the idea of naming bubblegum after weapons, but a little more research leads me to believe the bubblegum may actually have been named after the musical instrument that gave the weapon its nickname. Wikipedia says the bazooka was popularized in the 1930's by radio comedian Bob Burns. The gum's been updated, I see.