Unfortunate metaphor #3,786,452

Sweet, sweet candy. Since you'll probably be getting some from somebody tomorrow (even if it's just the person at work who leaves a bowl of conversation hearts in the kitchen), this ad image seemed fitting. Sadly, it reminds me of a long-past Simpson's episode where a drunken Homer rails "So I said, blue M&M, red M&M--they all wind up the same color in the end."

But what a magical cornucopia! Into its crisp, beribboned maw go corn syrup, butter, eggs, and enough sugar to choke a diabetic horse. And out comes . . . well, the gumdrop looks lame, but man the commercial artists sure knew how to render candy in those days (December 1945--Life magazine, in fact). The little box at the top got cut off, but it reassures readers that they'll be able to get all the CANDY they want as soon as sugar isn't rationed anymore. (As always, click on the image for a larger version.)

I miss the lack of self-consciousness in ads like this; candy these days has to advertise itself much like liquor and tobacco, knowing full well it's bad for people. In pre-obesity America, you could still make the case that candy was good for you, full as it was of "food energy" (calories). Don't be ashamed, candy! There is nothing wrong with you!

As Amy Sedaris's brother told her, "When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it!' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy!"

Happy Valentine's Day.