Yo-ho-ho, etc.

Here's a weird thing I picked up somewhere; I think at a used book store in Seguin (notice the sticker on the cover refers to Johnnie's at 10th and Red River, presumably Austin--there are still two Johnnie's Liquor Stores in Austin, but neither at that location).

What freak, huh? What's with the morterboard? Is it just to distinguish him from the sombrero-wearing peasants worshipping at his feet? Do they even wear sombreros in Puerto Rico?

This tiny booklet is copyright 1943, which may explain why Puerto Rican rum was "the largest selling in the U.S." Sayeth Puerto Rican Life: "Rum's popularity has waxed and waned over the centuries. In the 1800's it was largely replaced by American whiskey in the United States. It enjoyed a brief revival in the U.S. during World War II due to a whiskey shortage. Due to the Organic Act, which said that any excise taxes collected in the United States on Puerto Rican products would be returned to Puerto Rico, those few boon years had a huge impact on the Puerto Rican economy. For example, in 1940-41 Puerto Rico received $4.5 million in internal revenue payments, but in 1943-44 they received a whopping $65.9 million. Unfortunately, once whiskey production resumed at normal levels, rum sales decreased."

Which is kind of sad, since they could have used that money to upgrade the educational system in Puerto Rico. In 1943, according to this pamphlet, bartenders ran the universities. If you look at the table of contents here (I know, it's tiny; click the image for a larger version) you'll see that they are telling how to make any kind of drink with rum instead of with whatever liquor usually goes in that drink. A rum martini. Rum Alexander. Rum mint julep. And so on.
Now, the canapes, they show a little variety. Chive balls. Olive cheese balls. Tartar balls. OK, scratch that, they don't really show variety. And I think I'd have to drink something stronger than rum before I'd eat anything called "tartar balls." I hope to God that's some kind of translation error from the original Puerto Rican.

You'll notice I have steadfastly said "rum" rather than "Carioca" throughout this post. I have resisted the hypnotic commands of the little man with the moustache. Pray that I am strong enough to do so again tomorrow, when we will visit his factory.