Nursery school crime scene bedspread

BHG recommends perpetrating this craft if you haven't got the patience for actual quiltmaking: "Add originality to a ready-made bedspread with these paper doll beauties." I don't know about you, but I can feel the scratchy polyester quality of that bedspread.

I'm amused at the way books and magazines of the 50's and 60's harp on originality as the ultimate goal of decoration and fashion--completely unrelated to qualities like aesthetic appeal, function, good taste, etc. Well, maybe craft publications have always done that. It just seems especially ridiculous with these projects.

See what I mean about the rooms? Cold, sterile, and gloomy, this one. With a tacky white bedside table to make you say "huh?" when taken in alongside the modular, globular hanging lamp. And a milk glass bowl of flowers--a glass bowl in a child's room? But wait--what books are on the table? The only one I can read the title of is apparently The Unanointed, a 1958 novel by Laurene Chin. It's not in stock at Amazon.com, but The Book Review Blog tells us it's a "Fascinating historical fiction about the people around King David from the Old Testament. People like Job, Abiathar, Reba." Not exactly bedtime reading for the toddler set, is it? So does that mean this is a room for . . . grownups?

And then there's this atrocity, featuring a pointless pattern that we are told represents "crowns," plus a wooden headboard with leather pads remeniscent of those found in your better quality bus stations. And more ugly glass and a powder-blue porcelin lamp that really doesn't go with the avocado walls. But then, neither does the bedspread. The book calls this bedspread "subtle."

These motifs are appliqued to the bedspread, which is really pretty labor-intensive, so you'd have to spend a lot of time on this project to get it looking this bad. It makes me sad to think someone may have actually done this.