Composed salads: The horror

Candle salad.

Those two words ought to strike fear into your heart, and if they don't, you've been lucky and lived a good life and never been served one of these, especially at a dinner party.

The version here is bad enough, with the cherry. When this monstrosity first appeared in either the 20s or 30s (I've lost track), the "flame" was a piece of pimiento. And, I swear to God, even though I can't find it at the moment, one recipe I've seen calls for the cook (I use the term loosely) to "dribble mayonnaise down the side of the banana to simulate melting wax."

Well. How would you keep a straight face in front of the other guests?

The Bunny Salad, on the other hand, is heartless in a different way. You simulate a tiny, cute, obviously terrified baby rabbit crouching in fear, and then you slice him up with your salad fork and devour him. Why not just run him over with the lawn mower, for God's sake?