The Formica carousel of despair

Now, I have seen many sad things in my perusal of mid-20th century magazines, but this has to be one of the most pitiful. It's from the February 1963 Home Craftsman: "FUTURISTIC IDEAS for home decor."

If this is the future, I hope I die young.

It's not merely the horror of the design--the pink and red color scheme (why does anyone ever think those colors go together on anything but a Valentine's Day card?). It's not only the relentless carrying out of the carousel theme--the omnipresent ribbons, the little footrests on the barstools, the scalloped pink wooden valance around the kitchen. It's the look on that poor woman's face.

Who does she imagine she's smiling at? Who blew out the candles on the cake? What happened to the children the party hats were intended for? How long has the clock been stopped at 2:35?

It's as if someone cast Miss Havisham in Glass Menagerie.

I'm impressed at how accurately this 1963 feature foretold the gruesome sterility of the '70's. We were warned, people.