Calling Austin Powers

"What a grand and glorious feeling it is when you know you've done the right thing!"

You would think the advantages of tampons would be pretty obvious to women, an easy sell. Still, the Tampax corporation felt compelled to trot out so many horrors:

cumbersome belt-pin-harness
fear of telltale outlines
risk of chafing

And they go to great pains to separate the sheep from the non-Tampax-wearing goats:

There are many things that make Tampax appeal especially to fastidious women. The way it prevents odor from forming, for example. Or the fact that the user's hands need never touch the Tampax. Even the problem of disposal is no longer a problem.

Icky, icky female body! Thank you, Tampax!